2:41 a.m. on August 25, 2010 (EDT)
I did not marry until my late thirties, but had been in enough long term relationships to realize the dispute over disappearing into the woods is more about the relationship and individuals, than valid safety concerns. My friends had a similar lifestyle too, and their experiences substantiate this observation.
Some people just are compelled to control their mate. They view relationships as a form of property ownership. Letting honey have a weekend off runs counter to their self justified prerogatives. No amount of back bending acquiesces this type; you simply must stand your ground, knowing your request is not unreasonable. It may seem like you are putting your relationship at jeopardy, but that is your mate’s call and burden, if they insist on playing such brinksmanship for such a frivolous issue. Besides, what value is such a one sided relationship, anyway? I suggest severing all communication to your master when out on a trip. Their needs in this regard are not rational or sincere. They will only intrude on your outing and possibly use each call home as an opportunity to sabotage any fun you are having. IMHO the newly wed wife falls into this category, insisted he carry a phone then used hysteria and guilt to cajole her mate, thereby establishing who wears the pants. There is no other rational explanation for this behavior coming from an adult.
Some people are so domesticated they fear all is evil beyond the threshold of the front door. They imagine all woodland is dark, evil, and dangerous, with the combined threats of a rapist infested urban park and the Wizard of Oz forest. They do fear for your safety, but it is a profound and unreasonable fear. They need therapy, and unless you deal with this issue now, your children will suffer later in life, when the worrywart imposes a 9 pm dating curfew on the daughter, and requires college bound children to select a campus within commuting range of home, so their whereabouts can be managed. The therapy here is same as how you teach a child to not be afraid of the dark. You gradually desensitize your fear monger. Go on day hikes with no means provided for contact, then extend it to weekend trips, and eventually the longer journeys will be accepted. Again, the partner’s need in this regard is not particularly rational. Tens of thousands camp out each weekend, yet how many actually die or suffer great harm? Don’t let the insane run the asylum, and require you remain tethered.
And then there are the compulsively suspicious mates, who question your whereabouts and motives every time you step out the front door. It isn’t enough they surveil your email and phone bill for strange contacts, rifle your pockets for phone numbers, and peruse your credit card statement for questionable purchases. Nothing is enough. There is no pill to cure jealousy. Get out doors, preferably often and far away. Your relationship is crippled by neurotic companion, and you need a break to keep your own sanity intact. Leave the phone at home. Take my word; things will be just as you left them when you get back. (My sympathy goes out to you!)
Lastly some (probably more than some) get in trouble attempting to go on trips without their mate, because they either neglect them, or worse, did something to warrant their mistrust. If you think you fall into this category, repair the damage and pay the price. Damaged trust is harder to piece back together than Humpty Dumpy. It takes a long time, and sometimes trust is permanently fractured. Likewise it will take more than a dozen roses and a night out to satisfy a mate, who chronically comes in second to poker night, and other too frequent occasions out with the gang. But at least you can mend the hurt of neglect. You simply need to put off your own needs for a(long) while, lest you find an empty house to greet you upon your next return.
As for me, my wife was a mild combination of the worrywart and control freak. I dealt with the control freak unyieldingly. Eventually she learned all her bitching had only the effect of making us both angry with each departure, and she didn’t like that sour taste lingering until I returned. Simply, I will not be reduced to being mere property of my mate. I compromised with the worrywart, calling her (on long drives) when I arrive safe at the trail head before I start the hike, and again at the end of the trip, before driving home. It works well, and requires no cellular.
Ed