Funny/odd comments on National Forest registrations

These allegedly are real comments received in 1996 from the Bridger Wilderness (Bridger-Teton National Forest) registration sheets and comment cards. I can't confirm that they're real, but they're amusing nonetheless:

1. Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.

2. Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce world-wide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.

3. Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.

4. All the mile markers are missing this year.

5. Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.

6. Trail needs to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.

7. Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs. Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.

8. Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.

9. Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.

10. The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.

11. A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call ___ ___ ____.

12. Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.

13. Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.

14. Need more signs to keep area pristine.

15. A McDonalds would be nice at the trailhead.

16. The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.

17. I brought lots of sandwhich makings, but forgot bread. If you have extra bread, leave it in the yellow tent at V Lake.

18. Too many rocks in the mountains.

I'd like to know what 2009 visitors are saying... Maybe something about not being able to update their Facebook status from the summit. Or the sound of the coyotes and owls being too loud to listen to the sleep-inducing natural forest sounds on their iPod.

Very funny! Thanks for a good laugh Alicia.

In the heart of Baton Rouge is the BlueBonnet Swamp. It is a preserve of Swamp land set aside to protect a certain species of spider (we call it a bananna spider). A co-worker of my wife's went with her little boy a couple of years ago on a field trip. Upon returning from the trip she called the headquarters of the preserve to complain about all the spiders. When she was informed that the purpose of the preserve was to protect the spiders, she that was just stupid and demanded that they fumagate.

The suggestion number 12 is actually used at a state park in the swamps around Baton Rouge. There is a 3 mile loop along a lake that has the reflectors every so many feet high up a tree just so you can hike at night.

Explorer Robby said:

The suggestion number 12 is actually used at a state park in the swamps around Baton Rouge. There is a 3 mile loop along a lake that has the reflectors every so many feet high up a tree just so you can hike at night.

Yeah, I was thinking that might actually be a decent suggestion in the right place.

The spider comment is kind of funny, kind of sad. I'm never sure how I should feel about comments like those.

A "friend" of mine once wrote:

I paid the Rangers for a trail guide, they just gave me this little book and nobody ever showed up!

I'm sure some of the above was meant to be funny, but there are a lot of strange folks who "live" out there. I have met a few, not sure what they thought of me.

Thanks for sharing Alicia.

trouthunter said:

I paid the Rangers for a trail guide, they just gave me this little book and nobody ever showed up!

That's really funny!

There was an article in Sierra, the Sierra Club's magazine, by a ranger, listing what she considered to be strange comments and questions. Problem is that some of the questions came from old practices, like the bear feeding that used to be a regular feature in Yosemite, Yellowstone, and some other parks ("What time do they feed the animals?") and the discontinued Glacier Point Firefall that still appears in some of the Yosemite write-ups.

When North Cascades was being considered for National Park status, one of the arguments used by the logging companies was that with logging being forbidden there would be a lot of downed logs that people could trip over and injure themselves. I thought at the time this was a joke, until a friend who lived in eastern Washington state sent me a copy of a flyer published by the logging association.

And when the outhouse was being replaced a few years ago at Peter Grubb Hut, just north of Donner Pass, the US Forest Service required it be made ADA-compliant (it is a 3.5 mile hike along the PCT north of the trailhead at Donner Pass, with a 400 foot steep section going over Castle Pass).

Bill said:

"When North Cascades was being considered for National Park status, one of the arguments used by the logging companies was that with logging being forbidden there would be a lot of downed logs that people could trip over and injure themselves. I thought at the time this was a joke, until a friend who lived in eastern Washington state sent me a copy of a flyer published by the logging association."

It sure sounds like some one with the logging assoc. was already tripping.

As a carpenter I understand the need for renewable, sustainable logging activity. Many people get upset at logging industry practices, who also don't seem to mind buying a large new house. So a balanced view is needed here.

But statements like the one Bill posted by the logging industry, only infuriate intelligent people, regardless of which 'side' you are on, or at least they should.

Here's a few questions from the tourist info in Banff

-At what elevation do the deers turn to elk?

-At what time do you let the animals out?

-What's that white stuff on top of the mountain? (to which i replied "eh...snow?)

-Where can we pet the bears?

-How come you don't have internet in the campground?

Hey, what's the answer to #1?

That's funny.

I have also heard:

Are there any new mountain ranges here?

In Denali NP where there are no polar bears, a tourist onced asked a ranger "What time of year do the brown bears turn white?"