My Venture into the Wild

I'm depressed and I want to share. I made a post about that movie "Into The Wild", it moved me. Minus his idiot mistake, I don't want to be dead, but I want to be out in the wild.

Anyone who has seen my post in the Trip Planning section has heard me talk about going out west. Hopefully to Yosemite for a month. Then to the grand tetons or glacier.

But in the past two weeks, I've totaled my car (didn't have full coverage, it was a clunker already) and I got laid off this week. And to top it off, I'm 25, single not really financial stable yet. I don't know what the hell I want to do with my life or myself. All I know is I want to be out in the freaking wilderness. I've been talking about this trip since Dec. My g/f supports the idea, she wants me to go do it. But my family. well I'm just irrational and making stupid choices, and it doesn't make sense why someone in my position would be fantasizing about some trip I can't afford. I should be thinking about a career and working 24/7 and trying to survive in that futile rat race. I should just kill my heart and get over it.

Hearing that, I don't even know how my trip is gonna be possible. If it is even realistic. At this point, half the time I just want to be dead.

Blah, is how I feel right now.

Why not pack your gear, and head out someplace close to home for a week. Really push it. Nothing like a lot of hard work - outdoors - away from it all, to make a guy feel better. Put your brain, and emotions on hold, pack a heavy load and climb some steep hills. Camp under the stars.

I don't know if I should recommend it - but I spent thirty years in the army. You could do worse. Your young.

mike I responded to your post about into the wild, it also moved me. I got someone to cover my weekend shifts and headed out to a local state park. Total cost of trip about 30$ 15 in gas 15$ in ramen (more or less) and two nights in my sleeping bag. I tell you just getting two nights away is a great way to clear your head...two days or so of your own thoughts give you plenty of time to figure some things out...maybe not your whole life...but at least the next few weeks...you dont have to be 100 miles from anything to feel like it...im not quite in your shoes but i am close...graduating college next year with no idea whats next..

It sounds like you’re going through a rough spell, mikekey.

I agree with the previous posters that you don’t have to leave everything behind for months to get the benefits of clearing your head and getting away in the outdoors. It certainly has its allure though, and if someone truly wants to do that and is prepared and not being irresponsible, more power to him or her.

Making the point to get outside regularly and doing some shorter overnights closer and cheaper to home might be the start you need to decide what you want to try next. You can use the time to think about what you enjoy doing (and just as important, what you don’t) and what direction you want to go, both personally and professionally.

My advice, for what it’s worth, is to think of this as an opportunity to try something new and discover what you want to do. I can’t tell you what that is, but rushing off to find another job, any job, won’t answer that either. Give yourself some time to contemplate it and talk to others about their job choices and opportunities. At 25 without the responsibilities of a spouse and family you have more freedom to try new things. So take advantage of that.

After all, you’re going to be the one living your life. So it should be the one you want to live with a job you actually want to do and some time to get out and enjoy the things you like. Of course life is never quite that simple and there are always trade-offs, but you should feel in control of making your own choices for your best interests.

All that said, if you’re truly feeling depressed or that you’re not sure how to cope with all of this, be sure to talk to someone who can help, like family, friends, and/or professionals.

Good luck!

Well, I have been around here locally. This is going to sound a lil strange, but this is how it is. This is my heart. Two years ago I felt lead to take some time and go out into the wilderness. But I instead didn't, I got involved in another distraction. And I felt like I missed something.

Since Dec, I've felt like God was just calling me to come out west. To come seek him in the mountains. I just feel like the answers are out there.

I'm a Christian so this is why my perspective is like this. But the bible is full of stories of men who God called up some mountain or into the wilderness before charging them with their lifes purpose.

My heart comes alive in the wilderness, but around here doesn't seem to be doing the trick.

I need something outside my comfort zone.

Outside your comfort zone is one thing, stupid is another. Forgive my skepticism but, sometimes proper training, equipment, etc etc are as equal a companion as God. I do not want to turn this into a religious debate, but you need to be properly prepared. There is a story of a man who was drowning and when a boat pulled along and asked if he needed help he replied 'no god will save me' so they left and again another boat pulled up and asked if he needed a ride he said 'no god will save me' so they left and the man drowned. when he got to heaven he asked God why he did not save him. God said, "I sent two boats what more do you want?" I hope that makes sense, basically use your resources to help you get done what you need to get done.

Um thanks, I've told someone that story before. And thanks for implying that I'm stupid. I already have plenty of experience, preparation and equipment. I have spent plenty of time on the AT here at home. This is like I'd be doing something I've never done. Just to a place I haven't been yet. And I've been planning this for two months now. I just wanted to rely my frustration that everything seems to be going against this journey or standing in my way.

We are going to fail, we are going to get knocked down, what matters is how hard you take the hits and keep getting back up.

I didnt mean you are stupid, I reread it and realized it sounded like that, and I am sorry.