“You are lost in the woods and a storm is coming, who would you choose to lead you to safety?”

When faced with this question on something called The Great Outdoor Survey, American respondents voted for Homer Simpson more often than for President Bush. Sen. Barack Obama reportedly came out on top, Sen. Hillary Clinton was second, and Sen. John McCain was third. Apparently there was not a write-in option, nor could you choose yourself.

The first choice for a conversation partner on a long day hike was Oprah Winfrey. Bill Gates came in second, the Pope third, and George Clooney fourth. Last choice, yet again, was President Bush.

Both of these scenarios just beg for bad jokes. "Homer Simpson and George Bush walk into a forest..."

Alas, the full results of this enlightening survey, sponsored by USA Today’s new lifestyle publication, Open Air, and a public relations firm, won’t be published until the fall issue of Open Air. In the meantime, I won't hold my breath waiting for Oprah, Bill, the Pope, or George Clooney to call and invite me on a hike, though I'd do my best to hold up my end of the conversation if one of them did.

Via SNEWS