From TheOnion.com, just in time for Memorial Day (psst...it's satire):
With their current condition "marginally breathtaking at best," America's national parks will be closed this week for their exhaustive annual cleaning and remajestification, the U.S. Department of the Interior announced Monday.
"It's that time of year again when we roll up our sleeves and begin the painstaking task of resplendoring our parks," Interior Secretary Ken Salazar said. "After a long off-season, the foliage has grown lackluster, our mountain streams have lost their crystal clarity, and even the sparrows' songs are flat and desultory. So please excuse the noise and dust as we prepare our country's scenic wonders for their grand reopening on Memorial Day."
Read the full article: "National Parks Closed For Annual Remajestification" and get ready for some brook re-babbling, bear combing, and sky-bluification.
via National Parks Conservation Association