ZonePerfect Fudge Graham Bar

If you consider artificially flavored Soy Protein Nuggets as a real food, and your choices lie between starvation and eating ZonePerfect's Fudge Graham Bar, then there is a 50/50 chance you might be able to choke down this "nutrition" bar (nutrition being a relative term here).

September 30 update:

After reading my review on the Fudge Graham Bar, my friend Carrie bought me a ZonePerfect Strawberry Yogurt Bar—she insisted this flavor of bar is much better (Please note, this is the SAME Carrie who bought me a pack of Libby's Seasoned Beef Crumbles to try on the trail. So I was wary.)

So I tried it, and....it WAS better. I'm not saying it was great, but I'd give this flavor a 3-star rating.

HOWEVER, I stand by my original assertion, that this is not real food, but a food like substance. Overall, I still wouldn't recommend these for the trail, unless you are in need of a high protein diet.
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ORIGINAL REVIEW:

Straight from ZonePerfect's website:

Imagine dipping a crunchy graham cracker into ooey, gooey melted fudge and tossing in the campfire goodness of marshmallows. Yep, that’s exactly what this nutrition bar is like.

Except that isn't even close to the experience we had.

A box of these went along with us on our canoe trip to the Boundary Waters because, well, frankly the local food pantry couldn't get anyone to take them, and the food pantry folks gave them to one of our group to "enjoy" on the trip.

Three members of our group found them tolerable enough to eat, but they in no way experienced a crunchy graham cracker submersed in ooey, gooey melted fudge and mashmallows. It was more like, "I'm starving. Give me something until the fish is done frying."

The remaining three members had this type of reaction:

(Posed photo, depicting first bite reaction.)
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Is this actually food?

ZonePerfect markets this as a "nutrition bar." The basis for that claim is 14g of protein and 19 "essential" vitamins and minerals in each bar.

However, look at this list of ingredients (from their website), and tell me if anything listed here is an actual food:

Soy Protein Nuggets (Isolated Soy Protein, Tapioca Starch, Salt), Chocolate Flavored Coating (Sugar, Vegetable Oil, Cocoa Powder, Whey Powder, Nonfat Milk Powder, Lecithin, Vanilla), Corn Syrup, Milk Chocolate Drops (Sugar, Whole Milk Powder, Chocolate Liquor, Cocoa Butter, Milk Fat, Soy Lecithin, Natural Vanilla Flavor), Marshmallow Pieces (Sugar, Corn Starch, Fructose, Soybean Oil, Corn Syrup Solids, Natural Flavors, Salt, Soy Lecithin), Fructooligosaccharides, Milk Protein Isolate, High Oleic Sunflower or High Oleic Safflower Oil, Glycerine. Less than 2% of the Following: Fructose, Natural Flavor, Calcium Phosphate, Water, Xanthan Gum, Soy Lecithin, and Vitamin & Mineral Blend (Calcium Phosphate, Ascorbic Acid [Vit. C], Magnesium Oxide, dl-Alpha-Tocopheryl Acetate [Vit. E], Niacinamide [Vit. B3], Zinc Oxide, Calcium Pantothenate [Vit. B5], Ferrous Fumarate [Iron], Pyridoxine Hydrochloride [Vit. B6], Vitamin A Palmitate, Riboflavin [Vit. B2], Thiamine Mononitrate [Vit. B1], Folic Acid [Vit. B9], Chromium Chloride, Biotin [Vit. B7], Sodium Selenite, Sodium Molybdate, Cyanocobalamin [Vit. B12])

Fructooligosaccharides!?!? That's a word?

(In case you're wondering, a Google search showed Fructooligosaccharides is a sugar substitute.)

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In conclusion

Here is a picture of an unopened Fudge Graham Bar:

Burn this imagine into your brain so if anyone ever offers you one, you can spit in their eye and de-friend them on Facebook.

BE WARNED, I've seen these in white packaging as well. Apparently, the marketing team thinks switching up the wrappers might trick people into buying them again.